Does anyone remember going to school and most teachers were women. And they wore dresses to work. I remember that era. For me, it was the early 80’s. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed how much women have changed.
I remember the grandmothers of the neighborhood sitting on the porch, watching kids. Not just their kids. But they kept an eye on all of the children. They had authority. They were respected.
When I joined the workforce, I thought it would be good to work in an office, with other women. How little I knew back then. That’s when I began to see how toxic women could be. I missed that class on don’t be pretty and don’t be happy at work. Those two things made my work-life very difficult. Looking back, what would have helped was to pretend to be miserable.
In today’s world, what I often see is women being mean to other women. It reminds me of my earlier days working in an office. Sometimes I wonder if women mature beyond high school. Anyone can have difficult behavior but there’s just something so unpleasant with women today. I miss the elders. The women that sat on their porch making sure the children were under control and safe. Those women were leaders. I’m glad I grew up in a time where I actually saw this in real life and not just heard about it.
Most of the good women I remember from decades ago, they are gone now. God Bless them for being a good example to others. They may be gone, but they are not forgotten.
Back to the title, why do women seem so toxic. I think it may have to do with unhappy relationships. People are designed to have connection. When connections are out of order, the person becomes out of order. Sometimes I wonder if they are lonely, and that loneliness is displayed as poor behavior. Not everyone gets the life they want. Sometimes you’ve got to just deal with it and make it work the best you can.
I work in an office of 20 women or more at a time . For 25 yrs . It was like , I out did you cause we got a new car this weekend,we going to the beach for two weeks. I worked my desk and glad I didn’t get eaten alive by Friday. I was simple,happy to have two beautiful daughters and a husband. Life got harder and I worked three jobs a one time,I was not too proud I made a lot of great friends men and women. I even worked at Walmart as a cashier part time after I retired I loved it. I love customer service making people smile making their life happier. It’s not all about who you are it is about making others feel needed and cared about ! Remember the backs of other you use as stepping stones…..may be the path you need one DAY…
Raising a family seems to provide a high incentive to make things work at work! You’re right, life can get harder. It sure can. I think my article may be taken the wrong way by some folks. I know what my experiences were, and how difficult the female personalities were in the workplace. I remember a lot of “keeping up with the Jones’s” mentality. It was very hard to be broke but pretty and enter a workplace full of haters. But that’s youth. I found out the hard way how mean people could be. In some ways it was helpful years later for YouTube. The amount of bizarre comments that I receive remind me of the old workplace for sure.
I relate. I have had a few women who were very jealous of me. They thought my life was grand. I grew up abandoned by my father and abused by my mother. Later on, after my divorce, I had no car, had to walk to work, store and even the laundry mat but they were jealous. Iwas even told by a former coworker that she was jealous of my life. There were times I didn’t have a nickel to my name but I smiled and never told anyone. Women are cruel, vindictive and evil to women they think are prettier, slimmer, whatever. Im old and fat now and realize that I dont care what anyone other than God thinks of me. I wish I had learned that in my 20s, 30s …heck even 40s.
I very much relate to your comment, Gina! If I had known earlier some of the evil I was dealing with, it would of sent me to an outdoor Church Revival to seek help. Maybe the big difference in those folks that were so mean back then and the younger person I was, is I did not take it out on them. But they seemed to take out their unhappiness or their bad experiences onto me. There are so many emotionally upset people that look for a target to try to victimize. I’ve been hearing for years about “toxic masculinity” but what about the female toxicity? I guess for women that never experienced it, it must sound strange. But it’s real. And I’ve experienced it many times. I had one woman that was OK towards me at work until she found out we were the same age. Then she started misbehaving and being quite a horrible person, but only to me. I believe it was simply that I looked younger than my age. But that was some time back! God Bless You, Gina. Wisdom is beautiful, even as we age and our looks change, that wisdom is beauty.